I Choose Dirty

There was that one day when things got so bad that I daydreamed about what it would be like to be single again. Without a husband and toddler, there would be no combat boots carelessly kicked off in the foyer, no dirty laundry dropped by the side of the bed in an ever-growing pile, no pee or poo in places it should never ever be. When I cleaned something, there’d be no one to unclean it. My time and my energy would be my own.

It’s terrible, I know, to see your favorite people as hindrances to happiness. As burdens. But that’s how I felt.

Then I happened across a verse I’d read dozens of time before. Previously, I’d thought the verse carried no meaning for me and was instead meant for farmers or cowboys. But this time, it struck me afresh.

“Where no oxen are, the trough is clean. But much increase comes by the strength of an ox.” Proverbs 14:4

Do you see what I saw? It might as well have said, “Where no husband and child are, the house is clean. But much increase comes by the strength of family.” God wasn’t telling cattlemen what they already knew; this verse was meant for selfish Mamas like me who needed a serious perspective change.

In essence, God says, “Sure! You could have a clean house! But at what cost? Deal with a dirty trough and in return receive many blessings!”

This single verse radically changed my outlook on my roles of Wife and Mama. When I was single and living alone, my “trough” was clean. But it was also quiet and lonely. Is that truly how I wanted to spend my entire life – sitting in a clean, quiet, lonely house? Of course not.

I realized then that God had blessed me with very dirty, very noisy oxen – a wonderful husband and precious son. (These days I have two precious sons!) There were, and ALWAYS will be, messes to clean in our trough. But the joy, purpose, and strength (physical, mental, and emotional) that have come with my trough-dirtying gang are worth much more to me than the alternative – a clean, lonely existence.

Years after this epiphany I came to another amazing realization. God put his own Son in a trough. Literally. Mary gave birth in a stinky stable, wrapped her sweet little vernix-slicked son in what scraps of cloth happened to be available, and laid the Prince of Peace in the cattle’s grubby feeding manger.

The God of the universe presented his most exquisite Gift in a dirty trough in Bethlehem a couple thousand years ago. I’ve come to learn that even today He continues lay priceless gifts within my trough, if only I’m willing to look past the grime to the gleaming treasures beyond.